Living in Costa Rica retirement relocation tours.

Living the Narrow Comfy Life

by Jo Stuart

The truth is, most of us live very narrow lives. With all the choices out there we tend to make the same ones over and over, never expanding our experiences. (Note: I have Freud’s habit of generalizing from observations of myself. You are free to say, as my friend Betty justifiably can, “That’s not my problem, kiddo.”).

I was becoming aware of this at the Saturday Feria where I saw dozens of fruits and vegetables that are totally strange to me. But instead of trying something new, I continue to pick out the same ones over and over – tomatoes, celery, strawberries, carrots, grapefruit, pineapple, etc. Occasionally I will buy some spinach, which is not like the spinach one gets in the States. And I have bought zapallitos. They are like the good old familiar zucchini, and maybe even better. But that is about the extent of it. I don’t even know the names of all those other foods, nor how to prepare them.

It is not just the food that we buy and prepare that we tend to stick to the tried and true. Thank about the restaurants. How often, when you go out to eat, do you go to the same restaurant and order the same dish? And there are so many new ones opening in San Jose and its environs it would be easy to expand one’s repitoire. Speaking of its enviorns, I thought, when I moved to Costa Rica over ten years ago, that it would be a wonderful ‘jumping off’ place. A home base from which I would visit all the countries I have never been to. Other than trips back to the States, to Panama and Nicaragua, I have been nowhere. I have rarely explored other parts of this country except when friends come to visit.

And how many new friends have you made recently? I am not being accusative. Actually, these questions are directed at myself. The reason my thoughts have gone in this direction is something I was reading. It was about falling in love. There is a chemical that the body secretes, a chemical called phenylethylamine (PEA), that surges through the nerve cells and affects both our thoughts and our feelings. This chemical makes us feel euphoric, rejuvenated, optimistic and energized – able to leap over tall buildings. All of our senses are heightened. PEA is so pleasurable it is addicting. I knew and wrote about this many years ago, but what I didn’t know was that the same chemical (PEA) is secreted when we experience new thrills. And how can we experience new thrills or fall in love if we don’t try new things and meet new people? Once in a while two people who have known each other for years suddenly fall in love, but it is rare.

On the other hand, there is another group of chemicals that takes over under different circumstances. They are powerful pain relieveers and the calm and reassure us. They are the endorphins that are secreted when we experience intimacy, empathy, dependability and oft-shared experiences. The are responsible for the good feelings that come from stability, friendship and familiarity. They, as it turns out, are even more addictive than PEA. So there must be a reason why tend to choose the familiar, hang on to our friends and go back to that restaurant and have that favorite dish: why we crave comfort food and miss our family and we eschew the possibility of another heartbreak and more heartburn.

It does make me wonder, though, about one of my favorite fairy tales. Was “The Princess and the Pea” a sort of conundrum? Was the Princess upset because she was getting PEA with every new mattress when what she really wanted was endorphins?

Jo Stuart is the author of the popular book about life in Costa Rica entitled, “Butterfly in the City.” To order a copy of her wonderful book please contact her at: jostuart@amcostarica.com